


An Exercise in Frustration

by Waldo



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Aliens Make Them Do It, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Porn Watching, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-19
Updated: 2007-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldo/pseuds/Waldo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something comes up while Ianto is archiving some random artifacts.  Problem is, it won't go back down again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Exercise in Frustration

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/kenseig/profile)[**kenseig**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/kenseig/)  did a great beta for me.  [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/ladykoori/profile)[**ladykoori**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/ladykoori/) decided the t.v./telly debate for me. 
> 
> The video they discuss is here: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-hide-an-unwanted-erection (Don't open it at work. ;)

It had been a week since Brecon Beacons.  A week since Jack had emphatically sent everyone else home as soon as they'd gotten back to the Hub, but kept Ianto close to his side.  A week since Jack had driven him home and stayed the night, holding him and calming him but never once saying or doing anything suggestive.  Ianto thought he was going to have mental whiplash when he woke up from alternating dreams of becoming a human-burger and dreams of being in bed with Jack, healthy and whole and happy.  In the end he'd simply been relieved to wake up and find that Jack's arms were still around him.

Jack had made sure they all had light duties as much as possible during that week.  The necessary Weevil hunts were still, well, necessary, but they all tried to stick to the Hub as much as they could while they healed both physically and emotionally from finding out that the biggest monsters in the universe were actually from their own planet.

Ianto had been spending most of his time in the archives.  He wasn't sure how, but somehow there were still stacks of boxes that had been shipped over to him from the remains of Torchwood One.  Not to mention the dozens of things Jack tended to toss on the pile when Ianto wasn't looking and Jack couldn't be arsed to actually figure out where it should go. 

Sighing, Ianto took the two small artifacts on top of the next box in the meticulously numbered set from London, and put them in his pocket as he lugged the box back to the empty shelf where he could sort things.  He'd just pried the lid off the crate when he noticed that his left pocket was getting warm.  And vibrating.

He set down the hammer he'd been using to open the box and reached into his pocket to remove the two items he'd shoved in there without really noticing what they were.  One was a simple gold ring that might be a bracelet for a child or a really large earring if there'd been any way to open it.  The other was a… pebble?  It appeared to be a piece of hematite, about four centimeters by three, with a few alien characters etched into the smooth oval surface.  This was, apparently, what was causing the fuss in his pocket.  It was warm and vibrating slightly.

Ianto grimaced. He wasn't sure how he'd turned it on, and he had even less of a clue how to turn it off – there were no obvious buttons or switches.  The vibrations were making other parts of his body sit up and take notice that they'd been ignored for far, far too long.  He set the stone on the shelf and took a step back.  The vibrations caused the metal shelf to hum for a few seconds before the stone stopped.  Ianto sighed, making a mental note that the thing apparently activated when in contact with human (at least) skin.  Then he amended his thoughts to 'when near human skin' – it had been going off in his pocket, with the thin cotton lining of his trousers separating his actual skin from the stone.  He stepped near it again, trying to see how close he could get before it went off.  It wasn't until he had it in his hand again that it began to vibrate and it stopped shortly after he set it back down.  Maybe it was heat activated, he mused.  That would explain it going off in his pocket, but not when he simply rested the tip of one finger on it.  He knew he should take it to Jack – for all he knew he was irradiating himself or something – but other than getting comfortably warm and vibrating, it didn't seem to do much.  He pushed it to the end of the shelf with a pen.  He'd ask Jack the next time he went upstairs.

He'd gotten the top of the crate off and was carefully extracting the paper- and bubble-wrapped items when he realized that the erection he'd gotten from having that thing in his pocket hadn't subsided.  He adjusted his trousers and went back to work, figuring that his body would relax soon enough if he ignored it.

It had gone half twelve when Jack paged him over the headset to see if there was a plan for lunch.  Ianto apologized for losing track of time and headed back up to the Hub to see what everyone wanted.  He forgot about the stone.

They quickly decided to order in Chinese, since the place down the street usually delivered in less than half an hour, and went back to work.  Ianto made a round of everyone's workspaces, picking up coffee cups and half eaten breakfast pastries. When he went into Jack's office, Jack was actually trying to organize his files on his own.  He got up to go to the filing cabinet just as Ianto tried to cross into the same space to reach for Jack's coffee cup.

Jack raised a speculative eyebrow as he felt Ianto's erection brush his own ass as they scooted around each other.

Ianto knew he was blushing.  Why couldn't he seem to shake this damn hard-on?  Just because Jack had been a complete gentleman the night they'd gotten home from the wretched countryside, didn't mean that he hadn't gone back to his blatant and outrageous flirting the very next day.  And the day after that and the day after that.  And somewhere in there Ianto began to think – or at least to wish – that it wasn't simply the fact that Jack tended to flirt with anything willing and able that made Jack say those things to him.  It had only been yesterday that Tosh had pointed out that Jack never said things like that to Owen.  Or to her or Gwen for that matter.  So he really didn't need Jack noticing his current state.  Not until he was sure if he'd truly been forgiven for Lisa.  Not until he was sure that he and Jack would be able to both sleep together and work together.

Ianto scooted back the other way stammering, "Sorry… just, uh… just hand me that, would you and I'll be out of your way."

Jack handed over the cup with a wicked gleam in his eye that went straight to Ianto's already over-active libido.  Ianto took the mug with a small smile and beat what he hoped was a hasty-yet-dignified retreat from Jack's office.

Deciding that enough was enough, Ianto put the mug in the sink and then locked himself in the men's.  If his body couldn't take a hint, he could.  He leaned back on the wall and opened his trousers, and let out a sigh of relief.  He closed his eyes as he wrapped his hand around his cock and tried to call up all the visceral memories of the last time he'd had sex.  Jack would probably be appalled that the last time had been when he was still in London.  Still at Torchwood One.  Still with Lisa.

And shouldn't that have been a certain buzz kill?  Thinking of Lisa, of her death, of how protecting her had almost gotten him killed, had almost gotten Jack (and Owen and Tosh and Gwen) killed, had gotten Doctor Tanizaki killed as well as that poor pizza girl. Shouldn't that have been a rather complete cure for this current problem?  But no.  Even though emotionally, the last thing he wanted was sex of any kind – even with his own hand, as he'd been forced to resort to for so long – but his body was still being rather insistent.

He let out another sigh and switched tactics.  Drawing up his most bullet-proof fantasies, he began to stroke himself again.  He mentally replayed a few of his favorite porn scenes, not even trying to stop himself from superimposing Jack's face over the bloke from the video. 

He'd been through several such scenarios before he heard a banging on the door.  He checked his watch.  He'd been trying to get off for over half an hour. 

"Ianto come on, get the fuck out here, some of us have to take a piss!"

Ianto tucked his still rampantly erect cock back in his trousers, leaned over and flushed for good measure and then leaned his head on the cool surface of the mirror as he washed his hands.  "One second, sorry," he called out.

When he was reasonably sure he could look Owen in the eye when he opened the door, he threw back the bolt and exited, wondering when his body would decide to make up his mind for him.  He either wanted to get off or not.  This frustration was quite simply… frustrating. 

Owen looked him up and down as he passed.  "You alright?" he asked when he decided that Ianto didn't look quite right.

"Fine," Ianto said automatically before realizing that he wouldn't have spent half an hour in the loo if he were fine.  "I think I may be coming down with a stomach bug or something," he amended.

Owen made a face.  "I hope you used the spray," he said as he cautiously stepped into the bathroom.

Ianto shook his head as he headed back to finally wash the coffee cups from earlier.

()  ()  ()  ()  ()

After lunch, Ianto headed back down into the archives.  He still had that damn hard-on and he was starting to wonder when he'd start feeling more sore and less… stupidly horny.  That, he realized, had been the only upside of this going nowhere.  At least he wasn't feeling like he'd been kicked in the balls yet.  Bloody nuisance though.  Jack had been extremely kind for not saying anything up in his office, but he knew that if Jack noticed that he was still - three hours later - sporting an erection that could pound nails, well, he didn't give Jack any kind of credit for not taking the piss out of him.  And if he offered to do something about it, Ianto was fairly sure he'd be tempted to take him up on the offer, whether or not he'd gotten the answers to his earlier questions.

And wouldn't it be just humiliating if any effort Jack made was as successful as his own in the loo had been?

No, this was not something he particularly wanted Jack to be any part of.  Well, not under current circumstances.

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully.  Other than having to constantly adjust his clothes and make sure his jacket was buttoned when he went upstairs.  By the time Ianto got home he was wondering when the fuck this thing would resolve itself one way or another.  He made a quick salad for dinner before changing into nothing but a pair of light cotton pyjama bottoms and grabbing the remote and his admittedly poor collection of adult videos and deciding to have this thing over with, however long it took.

He knew he'd be mortified if anyone ever discovered the one DVD he'd found and bought without even reading the description on the back, simply because the guy on the front cover reminded him of Jack – old-fashioned military uniform and all.  Some of the kinks in it didn't much appeal to him, but others… he'd had no idea he'd ever find some of those things erotic.  It made him wonder what Jack would do with him if Ianto ever let him.  He wondered where he'd draw the line, when he'd tell Jack no.  He strongly suspected he'd let Jack take him places he'd never been and would never go with anyone else.  He was pretty sure that if Jack told him to relax and enjoy it – whatever it was – Ianto would.

His hand was in the front of his untied pyjamas before he'd really thought about it.  He squeezed the shaft and let his thumb ghost over the tip.  It felt nice.  He stopped analyzing everything and simply watched the screen and touched himself.  He wondered what the others might think of the fact that his favorite scene in this film was of a 'disobedient' boy from the ranks who bends over to be spanked by his commanding officer before taking that commanding officer up his arse.  It probably wouldn't even rank as terribly kinky for most people on Earth, let alone Jack Harkness, but something told him that the rest of his co-workers would find it surprising of him.  He didn't know why, but that made him smile.

He closed his eyes imagining himself bent over Jack's lap, Jack's hand coming down on his bare ass.  He stroked himself faster, his other hand shoving his pants down so he could play with his balls.

As he expected, this scene, which hadn't worked as well with out the visual aid, apparently, brought him higher and higher.  He gasped and struggled and tried to will himself to come.  He was so close.  He knew he was close and yet…

"Dammit!" he screamed, frustrated as it became apparent that this just wasn't going to happen no matter how hard he tried, no matter how close he got.  "Fuck it all!" he shouted, punching the couch cushions to try and relieve at least one form of frustration.

He considered going to A&amp;E, but just couldn't imagine walking in and saying to the night nurse, "Yes, I seem to have this erection that won't go away no matter how much I fantasize about my boss."

He clicked off the telly letting the DVD run to the end and went to bed, hoping that his body would sort itself out overnight.

Frustration warred with concern that something might actually be wrong – even though he wasn't hurting, though that, he supposed was only a matter of time – keeping him awake until the small hours of the morning.  When he finally did sleep, his dreams were all of one variety, and very clearly featured one other person.

He woke up hoping that dreams that vivid surely must have solved his on-going problem.  Rolling onto his stomach, he growled when he realized that nothing had changed.  Still hard as a steel rod, but thankfully, still no pain.  Work was going to be a treat, he decided as he headed off to the shower.

Even though he was sure it would be an exercise in further frustration, he tried to get off under the hot spray.  He was right and gave up after a few minutes.  He found his loosest black trousers and a dark blue shirt.  He selected a brighter blue and sliver tie so he wouldn't look like he was going to a funeral and set about making himself presentable.  At least on the outside.

&lt;{*}&gt;

Ianto had barely set up the first pot of coffee that morning before the Weevil alarm went off.  Jack tossed him the keys to the SUV.  "If you wouldn't mind, Mr. Jones," Jack said with a great deal of enthusiasm as everyone grabbed coats and Weevil equipment. 

"Odd for them to be out in daylight, isn't it?" Gwen asked as they piled into the SUV.

"Please don't tell me Weevils have gone fucking rabid," Owen groused.  "I mean, when an animal does something 'insane', it's because they've gone rabid.  This stupid tosser has to be –"

"Ow! Oh fuck!"

Owen cut off in mid-diatribe as everyone swiveled to look at Ianto doubled over half in and half out of the driver's seat of the SUV.  "Who the hell drove last?" he asked through gritted teeth.  Now he was in pain.

"Um," Gwen said quietly, realizing what she had done, "That would be me."

Ianto carefully straightened himself and gave Gwen a tight grin, "Might do to put the steering wheel back up when you're done."  He pulled the lever down and let the steering wheel rise back up.

Jack watched from the passenger's side as Ianto carefully pulled himself into the seat and clicked on his seatbelt.

As Ianto started the engine, Jack leaned over and whispered, "Did you just nail yourself with the steering wheel?"

Ianto glared as he turned his head to back out of the parking spot.

Jack's eyebrows shot up as he realized that that would be damn near impossible if Ianto wasn't hard.  Wasn't about-to-poke-out-of-the-waistband-of-his-BVDs hard.  He started to slide a hand over to prove his point, but pulled quickly back when Ianto slapped him with the hand not on the steering wheel.  "Bugger off, Jack," he snapped.  He wasn't sure it had ever been amusing, but now it was even less so.  It had smarted when he'd run his dick into the steering wheel, but somehow the erection had maintained.  And now he was back to that place where it felt good, but just not good enough to get him off.

He slid down in the seat, resigned to the fact that when this Weevil was disposed of, he'd have to tell either Jack or Owen that something was wrong, and that it was distracting him.  This needed to be dealt with soon or he'd go completely mad.

&lt;{*}&gt;

It took the better part of the day to find the Weevil on the lam.  Owen reluctantly declared that it was not rabid, however it wasn't very old – an older child or early adolescent – and it had gotten frightened and confused and come out of the sewer in search of his own kind.

They'd tucked it in the back of the SUV with an armload of Weevil tranquilizer and brought it back to the Hub to decide what to do with a baby Weevil.  As soon as Ianto'd parked the SUV, Tosh and Owen headed up to start the cover work for anyone who'd seen the Weevil while Jack and Ianto got it settled in a cell.  Ianto offered it food, as they'd had no reports of maulings, and he'd hoped to get it calmed and settled.  Somehow there was something in the 'child' designation that almost canceled out the 'Weevil' designation.

By the time they'd gotten it settled and come upstairs, Tosh was beaming.  "Ianto, your plan is brilliant.  I've erased all the images and accounts of the Weevil that have appeared so far in legitimate news services.  Of course The Star and a paper from the States called the Weekly World News are already processing stories.  But no one will believe they could possibly be real when these idiot tabloids are the only ones who ever go to print with them."

Ianto put a hand across his stomach and sketched a neat bow.  "Glad to be of service."  His arm brushed across his ever-present erection and he decided that it was more than 24 hours later and perhaps – as humiliating as it would be – it was time to tell Jack that there was a problem.

Before he could say anything, Jack was there draping a casual arm around his shoulder.  "Tosh is right.  This is fabulous.  We'll have to retcon a lot fewer people if they can be made to believe it's just a prank from some rag."

Ianto beamed under the praise, but being so close to Jack brought his problem front and center again in several ways. He disentangled himself so that he could clear his head and try to explain to Jack what his problem was without it looking like an extremely pathetic pass from the deleted scenes of a porn film. "Thanks.  Jack, could I have a word?"

Looking caught off-guard, Jack shrugged with an expression that clearly said: I have no idea what I've done… this time.  "Sure.  My office?"

Ianto suddenly realized that even though Jack's office was soundproof, it was still made of glass.  If Jack decided he needed to 'inspect' the problem…  Ianto sighed.  They'd cross that bridge when they came to it.  First he had to tell this mortifying story.  He briefly wondered if he should just go straight to Owen and hope that doctor/patient confidentiality would keep the fuss to a minimum.

He glanced over to where Owen was working at his station, taking base-line readings of the Weevilette.  Ianto just couldn't see himself ever getting through this conversation with Owen without dying of acute embarrassment.  He realized he was taking great solace in the fact that very little of anything sexual could be new to Jack.  Probably not even this.  He followed Jack up the stairs.

Ianto shut the door behind them and then leaned on it to ensure no one could sneak up on him.  He kept reminding himself that odds were good this wouldn't even rate an ought-point-six on the weird scale for Jack, but he still couldn't find the words.  He wasn't a blushing virgin or anything, but he'd always been the sort more comfortable participating in sex than discussing it.  And this didn't even really constitute sex and how was he going to explain to his boss that he was completely unable to masturbate properly and how was he-"

"Ianto breathe!" Jack ordered from where he'd perched on the corner of his desk. 

Ianto took in a deep breath as ordered, not even having realized that he was starting to panic.  Just a little.  "Sorry.  This is uh… awkward."  He wondered if he should risk leaving the door unguarded and find himself a seat.  This was looking to be a longer conversation than he'd originally thought it would be.

Jack's features softened.  "What is?"

Ianto paced in the small space left between the door and Jack's desk.  "I uh… oh dear… I seem to have developed a bit of a… medical problem."  Ianto gave him a look that clearly said he'd rather go down and teach the Weevilette how to play hopscotch than have this discussion.

Jack canted his head.  "Okay, I'll assume that since you didn't just take yourself to casualty, that you think it may have something to do with alien tech or exposure or something?  Should we get Owen to do a scan?"

Ianto paced again, the friction of his clothes over the subject of their discussion not helping him get through the conversation.  He dropped heavily into a chair.  "I thought of that, but believe me if I'm having this hard of a time telling you, I'm really not keen on having this conversation with him."

Jack pulled over the other chair to sit right across from Ianto and took his hand gently between both of his.  "What's wrong?"

Ianto rolled his head.  "You won't laugh?"

Jack's eyebrows drew together as he studied Ianto. "Why would I laugh about a medical condition?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, then stretched his neck before finally just saying, "Because since yesterday morning I've had the most ridiculous erection and nothing I do seems to make it go away."  He couldn't look Jack in the eye and he studied the floor between his feet for a second.

Jack didn't move, didn't say anything before a quiet, "Oh," slipped out.

Ianto jerked his head up and glared at him.  "Oh?  That's all you've got to say?"

All of a sudden Jack's face transformed. His perpetual smirk faded and he leaned back in his chair, covering his face with his hands.  "Oops?" he offered instead.

Ianto had no idea what to make of this reaction. Despite asking him not to, he'd still expected Jack to laugh. Or for him to order him down to Owen for tests. Or for him to start listing everything he knew about alien STDs. "Sir? If you don't mind, what the hell does 'oops' mean in this context?"

Jack gave him a tight smile. "Let me tell you what you found in the archives yesterday."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent.

"Among other things, there was a small, shiny black stone. Alien writing etched in it? Sitting on top of the boxes?"

Ianto nodded. He should have figured that one out himself. But the thing was so innocuous looking. Like a rock. That vibrated. He wondered how he'd not made the connection. He had to fight a nervous giggle when it occurred to him how little thinking he'd been doing with the big head over the last day.

"The one I meant to put a note on, telling you not to handle it with bare hands but got distracted by that queer little fuzzy alien that popped up under that fishing boat in the bay?" Jack had a look of half-apology, half-amusement now.

Ianto took great comfort in the fact that Jack wasn't dragging him down the stairs by the hair to have Owen look at him, but… "Jack…? What have you done to me?"

"Nothing damaging," Jack said before even trying to launch into an explanation.

"Jack," Ianto pressed, starting to lose patience.

"The stone is … a sex toy." Jack said cautiously, watching Ianto's face as he spoke.

"That explains why I'm beginning to want to shove it somewhere," Ianto muttered.

Jack smiled against his better judgment. "It won't hurt you. Just leave you frustrated as hell if you don't know the trick."

"Trick?!" Ianto exclaimed.

"Well… the… how it works. And," he continued before Ianto completely lost his cool, "it works like this. I picked it up from where it was laying – which, by the way was out in the middle of plaza – God, what if someone else had found the thing first? And it got dropped again? Can you imagine trying to track down the two people in all of Cardiff to explain that - "

"Jack!" Ianto cut in before Jack's imagination could get them too far off the point.

"Anyway, I found it, picked it up and put it on your pile of things to catalogue. When it was in my hand it keyed onto me."

"Keyed?" Ianto asked, relieved that they were finally, if slowly, getting somewhere.

"It read my DNA or my life signs or something. I don't know the ins and outs of the mechanism; I do know how to use it," Jack explained. "Anyway, it keyed onto me. Then you picked it up and … did its thing to you. And it won't release you until … it recognizes my signature on you."

"Your signature?" Ianto stifled what he knew was a ridiculous impulse to hand Jack his pen and offer his arm for an autograph so they could have this thing over.

"Look," Jack said still apologetic, "It's supposed to be used like this: I pick it up, it keys to me, I hand it to you – now we both know what we're up to. Then we, I don't know, go out to dinner or to a movie, then we come home and I turn it off," he said the last with bouncing eyebrows to leave no doubt as to what he meant. "It's not ideally meant for… prolonged use. Though there was that Flegarian soldier who once used the damn thing on me before he went off to war for a week."

"Who the hell goes to war for a week?" Ianto asked, suddenly distracted.

"The Flegarians have very strict rules about being home for 'Sunday' dinner," Jack filled in.

Ianto shook his head, trying to ignore the insanity in the diversion and get back to the point.

"So you need to 'turn it off'?" Ianto pressed.

Jack leaned forwards again, his hands hanging loosely between his knees. "Look, Ianto we can handle this one of two ways. We can continue to look at it like a 'medical condition' and get you sorted as quickly and impersonally as possible. Or…" Jack took Ianto's hand in his, but didn't say anything else.

"Or?" Ianto pressed.

"Or we can stop pretending that we weren't heading that way," Jack inclined his head towards the hole in the floor and his bed underneath it, "anyway, and I can ask you to hang in there for just a little longer – just until I can get everyone else to get the hell out of here and go home – and we can do this right."

Ianto shook his head, laughing to himself. "That's a hell of seduction there, Captain."

"This really was an accident, Ianto. I'd already picked it up when I realized what it was, so I knew it was keyed to me. And like I said, I meant to tell you not to just pick it up, but… I forgot." Jack's eyes got huge. "Oh god," he shivered. "Can I just say that I'm really glad you picked it up next and that it wasn't Tosh or Gwen. Or worse, Owen? At least I want to have sex with you."

Ianto stiffened and pulled back a little. Jack closed his hand around Ianto's before he could pull away. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, that was so totally classless. I know, I'm sorry. I just… Let's just say that I had enough of a glimpse of how wrong this could have gone that I'll never, ever leave contact-activated tech laying around ever again."

Ianto had to laugh. They'd been flirting and trading dirty looks almost since the first day they'd met. The 'harassment' line had been so overused that Ianto knew he was truly screwed if he ever really did feel that Jack had overstepped his bounds. He also knew that he was unlikely to ever actually feel offended by the comments Jack made. Then he started laughing.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Just trying to imagine Tosh coming in here to tell you that she's unable to wank properly. Can't quite see it. Or Gwen? 'Course she'd probably take her problem straight to Owen. For many reasons."

Now Jack burst out laughing. "And since it's keyed to me, he wouldn't be able to do anything for her. I'd pay for the CCTV footage of that."

"You're so mean, Jack," Ianto said.

"Tell me you wouldn't find that funny," Jack challenged.

"I never said that," Ianto conceded, leaning back in his chair, relaxing now that he knew he wasn't going to die of perpetual frustration.

Jack leaned forward, paralleling Ianto's move until he could catch him and kiss him softly. "Sorry you've had such a hard day."

Something in his voice, told Ianto that he wasn't really all that sorry and that the 'hard' pun hadn't been an unfortunate accident. He smiled against Jack's lips. "No you aren't," he said cheekily.

Jack slapped a hand over his heart as he sat up. "I'm wounded!" Ianto gave him an incredulous glare. "Okay, I'm not sorry about the uh… end result, but I'd rather we'd done this up front. Without the unnecessary anxiety that you were going to die of … you know."

Ianto rolled his eyes, feeling foolish for the truly stupid levels of stress he'd induced on himself by not simply telling Jack about the humming stone. He realized he was lucky the effects were more embarrassing than eviscerating. Like Jack having escaped having to get Owen off, Ianto realized he was equally as lucky that things turned out as benignly as they did. Note to self: never assume it's innocuous. One day it won't be, he thought to himself.

Jack gave him a quick peck on the cheek as he stood. "I'm going to go down and suggest everyone pack it in a bit early tonight." He grabbed a stack of folders off his desk. "I actually tried to file these myself. It's entirely possible I made things worse."

Ianto looked through the folders and conceded Jack's point. He also smiled at the thoughtfulness Jack showed in giving him a task that would keep him isolated in Jack's fairly dimly lit office until he could make everyone else disappear. It was enough that he forgave Jack for the fact that he really had those files screwed up but good.

&lt;{*}&gt;

It took Jack half an hour to subtly – Ianto hoped – tell the other three employees of Torchwood Three to get the hell out. Now that he knew that he wasn't in any danger and that he and Jack were finally about to put paid to all those exchanged words and glances, Ianto's cock was straining against his pants.

When Jack flipped off the overhead lights for the Hub, Ianto felt his breath speed up a little. Not sure what to do with himself while he waited for his boss to come up and take him to bed, Ianto kept filing.

Jack leaned on the door watching Ianto shuffle papers and folders and photos. "You can stop pretending to work now."

Ianto didn't look up. "I'm not pretending. You really have buggered these files." Ianto took the photograph from the top of a small stack on the top of Jack's filing cabinet and inserted it into a file.

Jack crossed the small space and took the files and photos out of Ianto's hands and set them behind him on the desk, not caring that he could hear most of the stack slide to the floor when he let go. He wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist to keep him from trying to go after them. "It's not the files that I'm interested in buggering."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "That was too easy."

Jack pulled Ianto in until they were pressed chest to chest. "That's been said about me a few times."

Ianto grinned. "Mostly by you, I suspect."

Jack leaned in, "True." Jack tugged gently on Ianto's tie. "Shall we take this downstairs?"

Ianto gave him a cheeky grin. "I don't suspect there will be room on the desk until I get done with this filing."

Jack messed up Ianto's hair. "Go. I'm going to set the alarms for the night and I'll be right down." He gave him a highly suggestive once-over. "Get comfortable."

&lt;{*}&gt;

Ianto descended the short ladder to Jack's quarters. He'd never actually been down there. Jack had never forbade it per se, but he'd made it very clear that while part of Ianto's duties would be to keep the Hub livable, he was in no way responsible for Jack's personal space, even if it was within the walls of Torchwood Three.

He'd always figured the space was very small; imagined it would have been like living in the old German U-Boat he'd seen at a museum once. Small bunk, a few drawers or a cabinet for personal things, a serviceable head.

But the space was the size of a reasonable bedroom. He'd have to ask Jack why he thought the best place for the bed was almost directly under the manhole entrance. There was an old wooden dresser with a wood-framed mirror above it. Jack had fashioned a hanging bar across one corner to stand in for a closet. An overstuffed chair sat opposite the 'closet' and the end table next to it had an old fashioned radio on it. There was a picture next to the radio. Ianto went over and perched on the edge of the chair to look at the photo. It was one that Tosh had insisted on taking the day Torchwood Three officially went 'live'. It was him and Jack and Tosh and Owen and Suzie.

"It's the only picture I have with you in it." Jack said coming in behind him. "You're always so damn quick to volunteer to be the one to take the photos."

Ianto just shrugged.

Jack held out a hand and pulled Ianto to his feet. "I should get Tosh to take one of just the two of us."

As Ianto's front brushed against Jack's, he said the first thing that came to mind, "You want to talk about Tosh and photographs right now?"

Jack's hand slid down from Ianto's waist over his ass. "No, I guess that conversation can wait." He left his hand cupping Ianto's bottom as the other one came up to Ianto's face. He brought him in close and whispered against his lips, "I know I've made jokes and smart remarks, but I really have wanted to do this for the longest time." Before Ianto could answer, Jack opened his mouth and sealed it against Ianto's kissing him long and deep.

Ianto gasped into Jack's mouth. This was so different than the chaste, sweet kiss Jack had given him upstairs in the office. This was passion personified. Ianto's hands came up around Jack's back without conscious volition. He slid his fingers under Jack's red braces, wanting to feel the heat of his body through his thin cotton shirt.

When they had to break for air, Jack kept their bodies pressed closely together. "Ever sleep with another guy before?" Jack asked, his left hand still firmly attached to Ianto's ass, his right coming up to unknot Ianto's tie.

Ianto was still breathless from that kiss. He wasn't sure exactly what all that stupid rock required of them to switch off, but under normal circumstances, he suspected that just that kiss could have done him in. He leaned his forehead on Jack's shoulder. "When I was in university… There was one… The relationship didn't even last out the term, but the couple months we had…" Ianto trailed off and cleared his throat. He didn't want to explain how after that there'd been no one until Lisa. And no one at all since.

Jack nodded, taking that in. Some experience, but by the way Ianto spoke, it was with someone who was equally as unexperienced as he was. "You can ask me for anything you want. And if I suggest something you don't want any part of, you get to tell me 'no'. You understand that, right? In fact if you call me 'sir' down here, I'll probably thump you on the head."

Ianto smiled. "I'll try to remember that."

Jack could see him consciously cut off the 'sir' that would have followed that statement upstairs. He laughed and pulled on the wider end of Ianto's tie, sliding it through the collar so he wouldn't have to fight with the little tiny collar buttons and dropped it onto the chair before sliding his hands up Ianto's chest to push his jacket off, making sure his hands came in contact with as much of Ianto as he could as he did it. He watched as Ianto's eyes slid shut and he could feel the tiniest of tremors that went through his body as Jack made the simple act of removing an outer garment into something sensual.

Jack spun him around and slid his hands from Ianto's belly up to his chest, where he again made sure his hands were in contact with as much of Ianto as he could while unbuttoning the blue oxford as he dragged his tongue from where Ianto's ear lobe joined his head up and around to the top of his ear. Ianto shivered and dropped his head back giving Jack better access to both his head and his buttons. "Perhaps," Ianto began, his voice a mere whisper, "It's a good thing that stone is involved, or I surely would have embarrassed myself by now." He tried to steady his ragged breathing, but with only minimal success.

"This stone?" Jack asked as he pulled the device in question from his pocket.

Ianto nodded, glad Jack had had the presence of mind to go and retrieve the thing. It never occurred to him to wonder what the range on it was. How far could he be and still have it register that Jack was doing what it wanted Jack to do to shut it off? "Yes, that's the one." Ianto said with a shaking voice.

Jack laughed, "We'll need to keep it handy then." He dropped his hands to unbutton Ianto's cuffs and then took half a step back to pull the shirt down and let it slide to the floor. Something told him that Ianto's penchant for tidiness was screaming at him to not only get it off the floor, but to get it off the floor before it wrinkled. Jack took a great deal of pride in his confidence that he could make Ianto forget about the shirt and the wrinkles and the floor. He tugged Ianto's gray t-shirt out of his pants and then slid his hands underneath it, letting his palms ghost over Ianto's sides, mindful of the still-healing ribs and a couple of now-yellowing bruises as he pushed it up and over Ianto's head. Before Ianto could say or do anything, Jack sank to his knees, still behind Ianto and gently kissed the greenish-gray bruise over the two ribs that had been cracked with a baseball bat just over a week ago. "These still hurt?"

Ianto shook his head. "Not at the moment," he reassured him.

"You'll tell me if they start to?" Jack asked, lips against Ianto's spine.

"I'm fine, Jack," Ianto insisted, starting to turn to face him.

"You'll tell me if they start to hurt," Jack said again, this time it was more of a statement than a question. His hands came up to hold Ianto's hips and keep him still.

"I promise," Ianto answered before he ended up annoying Jack. "But truly, the bruises don't hurt anymore."

Jack nodded as he kissed his way up Ianto's spine, making Ianto shiver from head to toe.

"I have wanted to do this for the longest time," Jack said, his lips still moving against Ianto's spine. "Ever since the first time I saw you naked."

Ianto straightened. "You've never –"

"About three weeks," Jack said into the back of Ianto's shoulder, his hands sliding around to undo Ianto's belt and slowly drag it through the loops, "after we started here. Owen tried to draw blood from that," he popped the button on Ianto's trousers and slowly lowered the zipper, "yellow alien with all the scales," Jack gently prodded Ianto with his toes until Ianto kicked off his shoes.

"And it popped like a balloon," Ianto finished the story, remembering the explosion of gore like something from a B-movie. Funny how even that completely disgusting memory wasn't enough to cast a pall on the moment.

"I told Suzie and Tosh to come down here and clean up and you, me and Owen cleaned up in the autopsy bay. You told me Torchwood had to pay to replace your suit. And that I needed to find you something to wear home." Jack pushed Ianto's pants down as Ianto turned his head and captured Jack's mouth in a fierce kiss. Ianto wondered how it was that they could talk about the exploding alien and he could get even more and more turned on.

Jack helped Ianto balance as he kicked off his pants and then Jack reached down and helped Ianto off with his socks. He stood back and admired his handy-work. "Yeah, this is pretty much what you looked like then."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, a slight flush on his cheeks. "Then I wasn't naked. As I recall, I did manage to keep the goo off my underwear. So you still haven't –"

Jack cut him off by pulling Ianto back against his chest once again, and quickly, without warning, sliding both hands down Ianto's stomach and into his BVDs. One hand grabbed Ianto's leaking cock as the other gently tugged on his balls.

"Oh shit, Jack! Oh –" Ianto trailed off into incoherent babbling as Jack began to slowly stroke him, his pants still up, Jack still completely dressed.

"Close enough for jazz," Jack whispered into his ear.

"You're not the only one," Ianto whispered, not sure if that had made sense, but unable to make his thoughts take more coherent shape. Jack's hands were strong and sure. Big and strong. Geoffery – the guy at university – had been hesitant and fumbling, even after they'd been together for a few months. Lisa had been more confident, but her hands had been small, and Ianto remembered, almost perpetually cold. Jack was hot and hard and all the things Ianto had dreamed he would be. He pressed himself into Jack's front, feeling Jack's hardness through his trousers and his own briefs. "Oh god, Jack."

And then, inexplicably, after almost thirty-six hours with a raging hard-on, Ianto found that he didn't want this to be over. Not with his pants still on, not with Jack still completely dressed. "Oh, shit," he breathed, pulling Jack's hands away, "You're still completely dressed."

Jack tangled his fingers with Ianto's and brought him in for a kiss. When the kiss was over, he dropped Ianto's hands and held his arms out, "So do something about it."

Ianto found himself unable to think, let alone act in any kind of coordinated manner. It took him several tries to carefully undo Jack's cufflinks and drop them near the radio on the table. His hands were shaking as he reached for the red braces, slowly sliding them off Jack's shoulders as he'd fantasized about a couple hundred times. As he went for Jack's buttons, Jack destroyed what was left of his concentration by putting his hands back in the waistband of his underwear and beginning a slow, sensual massage of his arse. "You aren't making this easy," Ianto groaned as he tried for the third time to get the second button undone.

"You in a hurry?" Jack asked, one finger sliding down the crease between Ianto's cheeks.

"N-not exactly," Ianto stammered as he shuddered into Jack's touch.

"I think it's time for these to go," Jack said as he pushed Ianto's BVD's down to his knees and helped him balance while he kicked them off. He pulled Ianto in then pulled one of Ianto's knees up so that his leg wrapped around his own thigh. Once Ianto was exposed to him, Jack used the pad of his middle finger to gently tease and simulate Ianto's opening, but not pressing in.

Ianto let his head drop onto Jack's shoulder. "You making this fucking impossible," Ianto said tugging desperately at the stubborn third button.

Jack laughed at him and nipped his lower lip. "I could stop."

The shocked look in Ianto's eyes was comical. "You bloody well better not!"

Jack kissed the stricken look off Ianto's face. "How about I give you enough of a hand that we can move this over there," Jack said inclining his head towards to bed.

"Brilliant," Ianto said as he straightened up and moved back enough to gather his wits and give Jack enough room to finish with the buttons and let his shirt join Ianto's on the floor. Ianto had regained enough coordination to help Jack with his button and fly and pretty soon Jack had kicked everything away and Ianto had pulled Jack's white cotton t-shirt off, making Jack's hair stand up even more than usual.

"Come here," Jack said taking Ianto by both hands and leading him to the end of the bed. He sat himself down and lay back, pulling Ianto down on top of him. "Do you have any idea how often I have fantasized about having you right here? Like this?"

Ianto blushed and shook his head. "Probably about as many times as I have?" he ventured.

The smoldering look in Jack's eyes was more than Ianto could stand to look at. "Guess we can both stop fantasizing now, huh?" Jack asked, reaching up with one hand to run his fingers through Ianto's hair.

Ianto just nodded.

"Here," Jack said tapping on Ianto's shoulder to get him to lift up a little. When Ianto did, Jack scooted up to the head of his bed and shifted onto his side. "Come here," he said patting the space next to him.

Ianto didn't need telling twice. He scrabbled up to lay next to Jack who shifted over just a bit so that Ianto would have to lay over him to kiss him. He wrapped both arms and both legs around Ianto, pressing as much naked flesh against as much naked flesh as he could.

"How do you want to do this?" Jack asked with a lazy grin, his fingers tracing random patterns over Ianto's back.

"You're the expert," Ianto countered.

"Yeah, but I'm the one who screwed up and left you with thinking you were going to die of sexual frustration, so I owe you one. What do you want?" Jack leaned up and kissed Ianto's nose.

Jack's movement slid his erection against Ianto's just a bit, but it was enough to make Ianto realize exactly what he wanted. "Oh god, can we at least start with more of that?"

"'Start with'" Jack echoed as he shifted to get Ianto to lay directly on top of him and grabbed his ass. "I like how you think." He used one hand to pull Ianto down into another toe-curling kiss. "Move," he whispered when they broke apart. "However you want. Do anything you want."

Ianto decided that it should probably be illegal for someone to have a voice that could cause another being to spontaneously combust. He understood what Jack had explained about the stone and how it worked, but he swore, Jack could have had phone sex with him at that point and it would have worked. He'd never heard a voice like that, and he'd certainly never had it directed his way.

Ianto rested on his elbows, his hands on either side of Jack's head. Jack had one arm around his waist and the other now trailed up and down the back of his right thigh.

Ianto pulled back, letting his cock drag against Jack's abdomen until he felt them line up again between their bellies. He carefully thrust forward, their cocks sliding together a bit haphazardly. Jack quickly rectified the problem by sliding his hand up Ianto's thigh, over his arse, around his hip and inserting it between them, where he made a loose fist around both of their cocks.

Ianto threw his head back, "Oh god, Jack, yes!" Ianto thrust into the tunnel made by Jack's hand, sliding along Jack's cock, feeling their pre-come ease the way a little more with every thrust.

"Ianto, please… please go faster. I can't believe this isn't killing you." Jack used his other hand to try and guide Ianto's ass into a faster rhythm.

Ianto laughed and gave into Jack's goading, sliding in and out of Jack's hand faster and faster, breathing against Jack's collarbone speeding up as well. He could feel Jack's breathing speed up against his own chest, felt as Jack's hand closed around them a little tighter adding just enough friction to make Ianto lose his mind. He thrust wildly, finally after a day and a half, feeling himself creep up onto the edge and knowing that there was an abyss to jump into.

"JACK!" Ianto's spine stiffened and he arched up, pressing his cock into Jack's as he came and came and came. Finally.

&lt;{*}&gt;

Jack was gently wiping off Ianto's belly with a warm rag when Ianto knew anything again. He was lying on his side, Jack stretched out in front of him, propped up on his elbow, smiling at him. "Tell me I did not actually black out," Ianto moaned into the pillow Jack had thoughtfully tucked under his head after apparently having to shove his unconscious body off his own.

"Don't worry," Jack said leaning down to kiss him. "I take it as a compliment."

Ianto rolled his eyes and hid his face again. Jack ran his hand through Ianto's hair, gently rescuing him from any chance he had of suffocating himself to avoid the embarrassment. "Actually, as long as you've been waiting for that, I'm surprised you only blacked out for a few minutes. Seriously, I was sure I wouldn't be hearing from you for at least an hour."

Ianto shook his head, casting a discrete glance downward. He flopped over onto his back and heaved a sigh of relief at what he saw. Or more specifically didn't see so much of.

"You're okay," Jack said with a grin and a kiss to Ianto's forehead. "Still tired?"

Ianto nodded. "I am, but I should go."

"Why?" Jack asked softly, taking Ianto's hand in his and winding their finger together.

"Well, for starters, I don't have any clean clothes here and something tells me my suit is –"

"Hanging up over there," Jack said pointing to his makeshift closet. "I picked it up when I got the cloth. You can borrow one of my shirts. Any other reason not to stay?"

Ianto couldn't think of one. Not that he tried very hard. "I suppose not."

Jack pushed the blankets down from under them and then pulled them back up over them. "Come here," he whispered, holding up his arm for Ianto to snuggle under.

It wasn't until they'd settled and the springs stopped their quiet creaking that Ianto noticed that Jack had turned the radio on and classical music was drifting over them. He fell asleep with Jack's fingers toying with his hair, and soft music and Jack's breathing in his ear.

&lt;{*}&gt;

Ianto spent most of the next day either at his computer station or in the archives. Almost immediately after Ianto had made the second round of coffees, Jack sent him an email with no subject line. Ianto rolled his eyes. He had just left Jack's office.

He opened the message. The only text was:

_Watch this.   
Jack._

 

Reluctantly, Ianto clicked on the link.

After sitting through the video he wrote back.

_Jack, _

I hope you watched the video through. You never know when that information might come in handy.

IJ

&lt;{*}&gt;

When Jack came back from chasing down what turned out to be a false report of another Dogon Sixth Eye he found an A3 sized padded envelope on his desk. It was sealed and his name was printed on it. Jack ripped it open and dumped the contents into his hand.

It was a polished black stone, roughly three by four centimeters with alien writing etched in the top. And a post-it note stuck to the bottom.

 

_I held it last._

IJ

 

Jack put it in his pocket and let it vibrate.


End file.
